What People REALLY Want in a Romantic Partner
Over 22,000 voters weighed in and showed us that what people really want in a significant other is much different from what pop culture might lead you to expect.
Valentine’s Day is here again! If you’re in a relationship, that means it’s time for you to spend a wonderful, romantic evening out with your significant other! Or, if you’re like the rest of us, it’s time to relentlessly compare ourselves to an unrealistic standard set by movies and television for what other people find attractive until we finally figure out why it is we’re single. No wonder Valentine’s Day is all the way up at #2 on our list of “The Very Worst Holidays You Hate!”
But we’ve got some good news for single people: it turns out that the things people want most in a romantic partner aren’t what you might think. Based on lists that have been voted on by a combined total of 22,000 people, we’ve got the 10 traits we desire most in both male and female romantic partners. You might be surprised at what people tend to see as most important!
Photo: Ranker
What We Learned:
We All Want to Love Someone Who Loves Us: In general, traits like “kind,” “loving,” and “loyal” tend to beat out more superficial qualities like “well-endowed” and “voluptuous.” It seems that being honest about your own wants and needs, and accepting of others, really are more important than the clothes you wear or your outward appearance!
We Want Honesty from Men, Support from Women: The biggest difference between the desired traits in men and women is we tend to hope female partners will accept us without judgment (signified in traits like “supportive” and “loving”). Meanwhile, the top two most desired traits in male romantic partners are “honest” and “trustworthy.”
The Bar Really Is Lower for Men: Not that this will surprise anyone, but it turns out that, at least when it comes to appearances, men just don’t have to try as hard to attract a romantic partner. “Attractive” is high up on the list of ideal traits in a female romantic partner at #4, whereas for men, it’s all the way down at #28, below such unattainable ideals as “clean” (#20) and “employed” (#22).
Gender Norms Have Changed: In the past, women were expected to take care of the household, but our survey seems to indicate that our understanding of gender and domestic labor has changed. Skills in “household maintenance” are all the way down at #63 in traits we desire in women, while “provider” is relatively low on the list for male romantic partners at #37.
Everyone Values Intelligence: Intelligence is important in any romantic partner, ranking at #9 on the list of valuable traits in men and only slightly higher at #7 as a trait in female romantic partners.
Bald Men Rejoice!: Put away the Rogaine, fellas: it turns out that a “full head of hair” is at the bottom five on our list of important traits in men, ranking all the way down at #57.
Age Is Just a Number: It may be true that our culture tends to emphasize youth when it comes to how we see attractiveness in women, but that emphasis doesn’t seem to have swayed many of our voters! Ranker readers voted Anne Hathaway as last year’s “America’s Sweetheart,” while the title of “America’s Boyfriend” went to Spider-Man star Tom Holland. Given that Anne is 37 and Tom is 23, it seems that the gendered way we see age and beauty is starting to evolve.
Of course, not everyone sees these traits the same way — people’s answers change depending on where they live throughout the U.S. Here’s what we found out about how different Americans feel about the ideal romantic partner:
Photo: Ranker